Hey everyone! This is a pretty loaded topic to be on, but at least we’re getting there! The topic of rewiring your brain and thought patterns is a big one, as I’ve been suffering from this for a long while. I’d wired my brain for so many years that it’s hard to actually dust off that rickety old brain and poke around at the wires! But we have to if we want to improve on our mental health.
Today, I’m going to be compiling a lot of different prompts or negative thoughts, and give you my examples on how to rewire or even divert away from that.
PROMPT: I’m not good enough for a job
SOLUTION: Create something of your own
As I’m writing this, I’m looking for a concrete mental health diagnosis, but I’ve been doing some digging. The vast majority of employers out there don’t give a crap about anyone with any form of mental disability, so it shuts people out, especially those with social difficulties.
Something that was never sold to me as an opportunity until recently was just going self-employed or freelance. If you have a specific skillset, such as art or linguistics, it’s beneficial to be able to sell your craft and skills instead of getting on your knees and begging that one employer to take you on (I’ve had that urge). It’s why I’ve deviated from jobhunting to writing and making products.
PROMPT: I’m letting my partner/family/friends down
SOLUTION: Assess your relations
This is an example of going straight in at the deep end. And I don’t mean getting pushed in by your supposed friend when you couldn’t swim, but the analogy is the same. By the way, Jess is no longer my friend, obviously.
I’m lucky to have such a supportive partner that helps when I don’t feel the best and I feel like I’m letting him down – this is more frequent than I like to admit. But I like to surround myself with people in a way that we build each other up, and I’ve had no choice but to let go of friendships that were damaging in this regard. I won’t lie, I went back on medication because of the friendship that I’ve recently cut out.
I always make sure to figure out who my friends really are – that, or people that I want to be friends with that don’t care.
PROMPT: Everyone thinks I’m toxic so I must be toxic
SOLUTION: You probably aren’t
A lot of people have their own ideas about what toxicity is. It’s a known tactic of narcissists to shove the blame onto their victims. People who have been romantically rejected may* be salty and lash out. I’ve been on the receiving end of that before. I’ve been on the giving end of it.
*Please, the ones I’ve had to reject have been super salty to the point where they tried to call me out online, like, come on. Please.
Just note that not replying to a message that was sent ten minutes ago because you are busy does not make you a toxic bitch. Maybe I should change my solution to that you may be surrounded by toxic people. Again, assess your relations.
In the rare case that you may be the toxic one, I’d say just ask around to see what you can do to improve on yourself. Communication is key, and let them talk, accept the criticism without giving excuses for it.
PROMPT: I’m not good at anything that I try
SOLUTION: Practice makes perfect!
Rome wasn’t built in a day, after all. I’ve been in the situation where I feel that nothing is good enough, that I’m not capable of making anything good. It’s why I stopped following certain author YouTubers – their solidified rules make things heavily restrictive that make me feel bad about my craft.
I did two years of Art & Design. I wasn’t the best by any means, but I also kinda went into the deep end (the focus of that course was digital media, which was my speciality). After resigning myself to thinking I was terrible at art, I didn’t really do much art until recently, when I started watching artists such as SuperRaeDizzle and Chloe Rose Art, I started getting into the idea of doing art again, and investing in good supplies – after all, it’s not just about the talent, it’s about the tools too!
I still can’t knit for shit, though! I just happen to have very clumsy fingers.
If you’re trying to figure out how to improve, Skillshare exists! I’m so tempted to take some Skillshare classes in the future. I might even be doing Skillshare classes by the time this goes live?
PROMPT: I’m so effing lazy
I often feel so guilty for being lazy, even when I’ve been busting my hump around the flat. The issue is that I’ve been unemployed for so long, and I’ve had no luck with the working environment, so that I’m trying to occupy my time with the blog and writing. And there are moments where I feel really lazy for sitting on my butt and playing videogames all day, when it’s actually good to have a self-care day.
I remember my first appointed self-care day back in February. I decided I wasn’t feeling too great mentally, and I wanted to spend the day just relaxing and watching Doctor Who. I so looked forward to it, and the day didn’t disappoint. It was so relaxing to have that time to relax and not really think about anything. I always encourage taking a day out for self-care, and that’s especially if you’ve got the time and need a break from the rest of the world.
And this isn’t even taking into account if you have disabilities that make it harder to get things done! I feel you guys, I’m kinda in the same boat. But as of writing, I’ve got physio exercises to work with so hopefully I’m on the mend!
I hope this was helpful, and this also serves as a way to help me work through the negative thoughts sometimes! If you have any more tips, please let me know in the comments!