The Queue – November Writing Challenge #4

Hello, lovelies! After the last three challenges were provided by my lovely reader Tim, this time, I wanted to travel back in time. For my Year 6 SATs, we were given four comic panels, and we had to write a story around them. The teacher admitted that it was a boring topic but we handled it well. I want to tackle that same prompt! I’ve given myself a minimum word target of 500 words.

I know pre-order is a thing, and the scenario given isn’t likely to happen, but I wanted to remake an old tale and kinda update it.


Jim had anticipated the release of Monster Ball Ultra for the past year, and it was all that he would talk to his mother about. He begged and pleaded with her to take him to the launch at the local games shop. She had agreed, on the condition that he would wash the dishes for an entire week. Being an excitable eleven-year-old, he agreed to the terms and had washed the dishes for a whole month before the release.

Even though she knew it was a midnight release, Toni realised that it was still a half-term week when the game was released, so she didn’t mind if Jim stayed up late – after all, he had deserved it after the chores he did.

The queue was already reasonably long by the time Toni and Jim got to the game shop. It was long enough that people were queueing down the street. Plenty of parents had brought their own children and some adults who could only be described as Toni as ‘neckbeards’ had found their way to the midnight release.

Toni had done her research – Monster Ball Ultra was the most anticipated game of the year, had been talked about extensively in all of the gaming articles and conventions, and admittedly it was a game that she was very much interested in too.

The tail end of the queue was just outside the local hairdressers four shops away, and Toni wished she had brought snacks or the Switch for some light entertainment for Jim. Alas, she had to contend with boredom for the foreseeable future, and it was 11pm!

Jim had started talking to a child in front of him in the queue, called Elliott. They were taking it in turns playing on the Switch before it died. Toni, meanwhile, started a conversation with Leslie, Elliott’s mother.

Midnight struck and the queue started decreasing in size. And only when the queue started moving, did Jim start getting irritable. Toni knew he was tired, but was willing to forge on for the game.

Jim and Toni finally entered the shop at half-past to find it in absolute chaos. The shelves containing the game were near enough barren. Some children and even a couple of parents were pitching fits and throwing themselves on the ground in tantrums, followed by security escorting the culprits. The neckbeards were arguing with other children and even themselves as to who knew the franchise better.

Jim, meanwhile, found the last copy of the game and hurried to the shelf to pick it up. Upon holding the copy, he heard a low whine from his right.

It was Elliott, the same kid he’d played the Switch with earlier in the queue. It was apparent that Elliott hadn’t found a copy yet, so Jim turned to him and asked,

‘You were in the queue before me, you can have the last copy.’ Elliott looked as though he could have cried on the spot. Jim held out the game for Elliott, who took it gratefully.

‘Thank you so much! Do you want to come over and play it tomorrow?’ Jim nodded excitedly.

‘If that’s okay?’ They hurried to their mothers, who were talking in the corner, who agreed to the deal and took each others’ home addresses before Jim and Toni left for the night. Once outside, Toni asked:

‘Jimmy, it was very kind of you to give the last copy to Elliott, but why?’ Jim smiled, and responded:

‘I waited a whole year for the game. One more day won’t hurt.’

3 thoughts on “The Queue – November Writing Challenge #4

    1. poketravellerlola

      That’s the theme I was going for, because I ended the original differently, but still just as wholesome. After all, there are wholesome kids in the world, they just get overshadowed, sadly

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Pingback: November Writing Challenge Overview – PokeTraveller Lola

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